My husband and I have found ourselves in somewhat a of a funk lately. My funk is much greater than his. Frankly, I'm fighting a bit of depression, trying to work it out and continuing to pray for God's peace. Some days can seem overwhelming. Some things just frustrating. That's life.
Tim was off on a trip yesterday and got to hear a wonderful sermon by one of the General Superintendents in the Church of the Nazarene. He sent me the text that he used, 2 Corinthians 1:8-11. It states:
8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our[a] behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
As I read the text, the end of verse 9 and verse 10 struck me hard. Sometimes, although I really do believe it, I need to be reminded that He is my hope and that He will deliver me. As a follower of Christ, I can trust that He's got my best interest at heart. I know that in the end, He is working all things out for my good. He is so trustworthy...yet there are those moments where I forget to rely on Him and try to figure it out on my own. You think I would know better. I guess the "recovering" control freak in me just needs some more work...just needs to be reminded.
The other thing I began thinking about was the fact that sometimes, whether we like it or not, life is just going to be hard. Shedding those extra pounds can't be done without sacrifice and hard work. And so it is with our spiritual life as we are reminded by James. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I want to be a mature Christian. I want to be known as a Godly woman. So, maybe it's no surprise that God keeps giving me some hard places. And maybe when I can see those places as places to learn and grow they won't seem so hard.
I said to Tim the other day, "I don't like that I'm so frustrated that these things make me so angry. I'm not acting very Godly and I want to be Godly." But then it hit me that's my choice, right? And so I realized, it is up to me to choose joy. It's up to me to hold tightly to the fact that He will continue to deliver me. I know that and believe it with all my heart. Now I just have to live it. Choose it! He has never failed me and when all is said and done I will be on the other side of this right where He wants me to be.
This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.